Friday, March 27, 2009

Glamour Shots Gone Wrong


20. The Delta Burke - Don't wear material that makes you look like a NASA satellite.

19. The Fur Factor - It looks like a Woolly Mammoth is giving birth to a black woman.

18. Blurry Hair - Airbrushing your hair isn't enough, maybe soften your face, or your jacked up teeth?

17. Man Face - Don't forget your gender when dressing for the shoot.

16. Mom and Me - Nothing spells Virgin like a glamour shot with your Mother. Can't wait to see the prom pic

15. Red Explosion - Did you just eat Molly Ringwald?

14. Ruining a Perfectly Good Hot Chick - You don't take a Picasso and cover it with a velvet Elvis. If something isn't broke don't try to fix it.

13. Not So Close - Maybe back up a little for the photo, like to the parking lot.

12. Hell and Fire - You've got a cool breeze in your hair and you look as if the photographer farted.

11. Too Many Accessories - Look in the mirror and take off the first thing that catches your eye, like your face.

10. Butch - Shave your beard before you show up.

9. NSFG (Not Safe For Glamour) - There is SO much wrong with this we don't know where to begin.

8. Country - You make us want to run off screaming into the sunset.

7. Mother and Daughter - This should be ruled as child abuse. You don't force your daughter to put on 15 lbs of make up to your 30 lbs of make up just for the slight chance an elderly man at dusk could confuse her for your sister. Something tells us it took several hours to separate their hairdos.

6. Combustible Compounds - It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know you've been smoking since the great depression. We also know the 4 cans of hairspray in your hair and the several square yards of naugahyde your wearing are about as flammable as Richard Pryor. Something bad is about to happen.

5. Eye Contact
- Try and have BOTH eyes look at the camera.

4. Death Mask
- We strongly feel there needs to be an age limit on these things.

3. Standing Out - Try to eat the days prior to your shoot. This will allow you to stand freely without assistance and not blend into the objects you're being photographed with.

2. Large Marge - Looking to dazzle the truck stops?

1. NO! - Find a woman, get a life, stop sleeping with your cat.


  1. An absolutely amazing collection.

  2. Anonymous9:55 AM


    Hope you have burned the one I took part in...

    HObe has the one of me up on his desk -- may be some reason why we don't have bugs. Imagine this: One bug gets and leaved right away to foreworn the others headed our way. The one that caught my eye is the on with most of her bust lookin to fall on the floor. Lov you and Mr Buton. Plan to mix up with a medium to tell up you both will be ther when we get there in 5 week3

  3. Michael in Hooterville10:09 AM

    You were tricked! (or you were trying to trick all of us!!) -- These are ALL drag queens.

  4. Anonymous3:52 AM

    LMFAO!!! ROTF!!!! OMG this is CLASSIC shit right here - so e-mailing this to my Contact list - thanks for the laughs - so hard til' I'm hurting!!

  5. Anonymous6:48 PM

    Take my photo from there!

  6. Anonymous12:50 PM

    #14 looks like linday lohan!

  7. Anonymous2:36 PM

    Take a joke people! This is hilarious!

  8. Anonymous2:27 AM

    me thinks a bit cruel

  9. Anonymous6:17 PM

    Comments aren't funny, but the photos are.

  10. Hope you guys don't mind, but we used your page as "reference" on DirtyBeerHole for its upcoming Miss Cheap Beer beauty pageant. Thanks for the context.

  11. Anonymous11:41 AM

    photos are funny but comment are mean

  12. Like I always say; "If you can't say anything nice about anybody, come sit next to me."

  13. Anonymous10:19 PM

    Well, I was thinking of doing glamour shots, but now that I've seen these pics I think I'll reconsider. Don't want to be featured here and getting laughed at lol

  14. Explore your inner glamour Doll. You don't need to look like a putanna to be glamorous.

  15. Wow, these pictures are an unfortunate example of bad 80's/90's fashion. I actually love the modern Glamour Shots- my family goes every year! Read some glamour shots reviews and decide for yourself :)