M.I.A. Disgraced Congressgurl Aaron Schock (R-Oh Pleeze)

Totally not gay Aaron Schock werkin' it, gurl

Señorita Cosa has been missing since she resigned her seat in Congress over some financial "irregularities". Mediaite reports that she's got a lawyer looking to serve her with papers over some campaign donations. To whit: 

Former Rep. Aaron Schock, where did you go? We cannot see  you on Instagram, on television, backstage at an Ariana Grande concert — nowhere! We miss you. We miss your abs. Oh, and this lawyer needs to serve a lawsuit against you, stat.

The disgraced Congressman, who left the House after a string of embarrassing revelations about his expenditures, is nowhere to be found, says a prosecutor representing one of Schock’s former donors. The Chicago Sun-Times reports that Attorney Daniel Kurowski has told a federal judge that he’s checked both of Schock’s former residences (and both were empty), contacted his former lawyers, and attempted to reach out to Schock’s representatives and press secretaries. So far, has come up empty-handed.

That trick has left the building!