Saturday, May 09, 2009
Friday, May 08, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Oh no, everyone is being all mean to Carrie California because she is an idiot and she subscribes to some of the more popular bigotries! Lady should be thanking the Homosexualist Agenda.
Who won the Miss USA pageant? Anyone? Miss... Guam? We don't know, and don't care! But we alllllll know Carrie Prejean (Related searches: "carrie prejean racy"), Miss Proposition 8, the pageant loser who won't get off of our TVs or our popular celebrity gossip blogs. She's in commercials! (Because NOM couldn't get any real actors for their miserable commercials, but still: it's work!)
So, yes, Carrie, you are being persecuted for your beliefs. You have the right to hold whatever beliefs you like, and everyone else in America has the right to call you a bigoted moron. The Liberal Elites are all-powerful and have passed judgment on you! And, obviously, Gay Elites control the portions of the Media not controlled by Jews, so you will never work in this town again, because that is how the Liberal Gay Elites treat dumb skinny blondes who espouse half-baked conservative talking points.
Oh, no, wait: they coddle them and throw them on TV all the time.
So yeah, it sure sucks that everyone is seeing those embarrassing "topless photos" of you, that you posed for, professionally, as a professional model, and sure, people are only republishing them to make you feel bad (the photos offer very little masturbatory appeal, the usual explanation for the popularity of racy pageant contestant photo scandals), and it sucks that TMZ is all delving into the divorce of your parents, but hey, that is the trade-off: we get to "persecute" you and you get to now become terribly famous, like you wanted.
Don't worry! There is an entire economy set up to promote and sustain resources like you and Bristol Palin and any other mildly famous person with right-wing beliefs!
And oh, that TMZ marriage thing? Maybe you have issues with gay people because during the messy dissolution of your parents' traditional opposite marriage your fucked-up mom kept telling you your dad was a fag because he had a mustache? The hell is that about?
Monday, May 04, 2009
Remember when then-NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani was cheating on his wife and she threw him out and he went to live with his two gay BFFs and promised that he'd officiate at their marriage when it became legal? So much for friendship.Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani was a last-minute no-show at the wedding of his former roommates -- a gay couple -- yesterday. It was a disappointment for Queens car dealer Howard Koeppel and his longtime lover, Mark Hsaio, who tied the knot in a double-ring ceremony before 10 guests in Westport, Conn. The couple famously let the ex-mayor crash at their luxury $2.37 million three-bedroom Manhattan apartment while he was going through a nasty divorce with Donna Hanover in 2001. Later, Giuliani married the "other woman," Judith Nathan. "Rudy and Judith were both invited with a beautiful written invitation by mail," said Koeppel. "His secretary called Thursday and said he was not able to come to the wedding and wished us all the best."He can't even been seen at the wedding of his "best friends" now that he's planning on running for governor on an anti-marriage platform.
Opportunistic SCUMBAG. 9/11!!!
Over the last seven days...
North Carolina: Pastor Joseph Kennedy Ragland arrested for rape of a minor.
Canada: Rev. David Woodall charged with two counts of sexual assault, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor.
California: Pastor Robert Bowman arrested for possession of child pornography. Bonus: Bowman is the headmaster of a Christian grade school.
North Carolina: Pastor Raymond Bernard Reid charged with rape, indecent sexual liberties with a child.
Australia: Father Canon Barry Greaves sentenced to three years for seven counts of child molestation. Bonus: He was the church's counselor for victims of sexual assault.
Missouri: Pastor Randall Russell sentenced to 15 years for molesting four girls.
New York: Father Richard Ordoñez charged with sexual assault.
Tennessee: Pastor Steven C. Haney pleads guilty to two counts of rape and sexual battery.
North Carolina: Pastor Dana Davis owes over $130K in child support for seven children fathered across two states. Bonus: He runs a fraudulent credit repair scam.
Alabama: Pastor Kenneth Dyar Wood charged with rape of 11 year-old girl.
This week's winner:
Florida: Father John Skehan begins prison sentence for stealing $370,000 from his parish that he spent on his girlfriend, homes, property, and vacations. Bonus: Skehan is 81. Extra bonus: In February Skehan's successor, Father Francis Guinan, was sentenced to four years in prison for stealing $100K from the parish. Which he spent on his girlfriend, gambling, and vacations. St. Vincent's in Delray Beach just can't catch a break, y'all.
And just today...
Liberty University Professor Arrested In Sexual Assault Case
At Dead Jerry Falwell University last week:A judge has granted $25,000 bond to a Liberty University professor accused of a sex crime with a student. Joshua Young Moon is charged with object sexual penetration by force. Moon appeared at the Lynchburg courthouse on Monday. In less than a week, Moon has gone from popular professor to inmate. Prosecutors say it happened when a 21-year-old student came to Moon's office last Tuesday to do classwork. The prosecutor says the victim was in pain, so she got on the floor and let Moon give her a massage. That's when she says she fell asleep, and woke up to find him touching her inappropriately.Moon was ordained at Falwell's Thomas Road Baptist Church and is the pastor of a church in Durham, NC. Liberty University has already fired him, lending credence to the student's charge.