Monday, November 09, 2009

Lemon Ice Box Pie

I had a wicked craving for Lemon Ice Box Pie this week and I thought I had Mom's recipe for it, but alas it was not there. So I went to America's Test Kitchen's site and looked to see if they had a recipe. They did not, however they did have a recipe for Key Lime Pie. I knew that they were almost identical in their taste profile so I went with that one substituting lemon for lime in the recipe, and boy was it delicious. I am going to post the recipe here so you folks can enjoy it too. It's a little more complicated than the old lemon juice and condensed milk recipe but it is remarkably delicious. (P.S. For the concerned citizen who's upset that I didn't take credit for a photo or recipe I didn't compose myself, I would like to state 3 things; 1. I did not take the photo of the pie in this post. 2. I did not compose the recipe, just altered it to make a lemon pie, rather than lime, and 3. Go fuck yourself honey... go troll someone else's site.)
Key Lime Icebox Pie
Serves 8 to 10.
Be sure to use instant pudding that requires no stovetop cooking for this recipe. We use regular supermarket (Persian) limes-tasters thought bottled lime juice lacked depth of flavor. We much prefer our easy homemade crust to store- bought versions.

whole graham crackers , broken into smaller pieces
tablespoons sugar
tablespoons unsalted butter , melted
cup sugar
tablespoon grated lime zest
ounces cream cheese , softened
(14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
cup instant vanilla pudding mix
1 1/4
teaspoons unflavored gelatin
cup fresh lime juice from 6 to 8 limes
teaspoon vanilla extract

1. For the crust: Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Pulse crackers and sugar in food processor until finely ground. Add melted butter in steady stream while pulsing until crumbs resemble damp sand. Using bottom of dry measuring cup, press crumbs firmly into bottom and sides of 9-inch pie plate. Bake until fragrant and browned around edges, 12 to 14 minutes. Cool completely.
2. For the filling: Process sugar and zest in food processor until sugar turns bright green, about 30 seconds. Add cream cheese and process until combined, about 30 seconds. Add condensed milk and pudding mix and process until smooth, about 30 seconds. Scrape down sides of bowl. Stir gelatin and 2 tablespoons lime juice in small bowl. Heat in microwave for 15 seconds; stir until dissolved. With machine running, pour gelatin mixture, remaining lime juice, and vanilla through feed tube and mix until thoroughly combined, about 30 seconds.
3. Pour filling into cooled crust, cover with plastic, and refrigerate at least 3 hours or up to 2 days. To serve, let pie sit at room temperature for 10 minutes before slicing.
I hope you enjoy this.

Hilariously Tacky Wedding Alert!!

Why will this make it into the "Tacky Wedding Hall-of-Fame"? Is it the "mini-me" kids dressed as the bride and groom? Is it the neon orange bridesmaid showgirl dresses? Is it the plastic see-through pumpkin coach? Or is it the ridiculous bride's outfit? Or something else? You decide.

Thanks to for this show stopper.


Didn't I see John Leguizamo as drag queen Miss Chi-Chi "I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken" Rodriguez in "Too Wong Foo" wear that same hat?


Yes I did!


Yeah, Mom, get a nice handful of bosom for the family photo op. Don’t be shy, go for it.





Oh man, oh man, oh man….


Seriously, WTF.