Saturday, May 30, 2009

Good old GOP "Family Values"

From the Lehigh (PA) Valley Live site:

Pennsylvania authorities say a Cumberland County man suggested dressing up in animal costumes during online sex chats with a 15-year-old boy. Agents found wolf- and cat-type costumes in his home.

Alan David Berlin, a 40-year-old Carlisle, Pa., resident, also proposed visiting the boy's Harrisburg home and having sex in the back yard while his parents slept, according to a news release from the Attorney General's Office.

Berlin, who used the screen name "alan_panda_bear", requested nude photos of the boy and suggested they meet in a hotel room where a third person could photograph them having sex, the release says.

...Berlin, a longtime staffer for a Republican state lawmaker, is charged with unlawful contact with a minor, a first-degree felony punishable by up to 20 years in prison and a $25,000 fine.


Friday, May 29, 2009

June is National Dairy Month!

In honor of National Dairy Month we at FHP would like to present for your perusal these very odd women who have made themselves into fodder for this ridiculous blog. They deserve what they get...

Piggly-Wiggly's melon inspector

Your roots need doing dear...


Guinness Book of Worlds Record holder for biggest idiot in a pink bikini top

See image #2

Hey... you're stretching out my best sweater!

Nice (book) Rack

I didn't know they were still making tube tops

Pretty girl. Monstrous boobs. Yuck!

Swallowed two medicine balls. Decided to keep them.

Who did this to this woman?

Those straps could kill someone if they snapped


Why am I fat?

Because you eat shit like this...

Domino’s Three Cheese Mac-N-Cheese Pasta Bread Bowl (submitted by Kerri)

Domino’s Three Cheese Mac-N-Cheese Pasta Bread Bowl

Permalink Bacon Infused Waffles (submitted by Breda via baconbaconbacon)

Bacon Infused Waffles

Thanks to This is why you're fat...

Must Watch Video

Cross Posted from Pam's House Blend:


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

This Week In Holy Crimes

Thanks once again to

Over the last seven days...

Florida: Imam Yasser Mohamed Shahade arrested for sexual assault of 13 year-old boy.
Israel: Rabbi Elior Noam Hen charged with ritualistic burning and cutting of toddlers because they were "possessed by the devil." One child is in a permanent vegetative state. Rabbi Hen has fled to Brazil, who has agreed to extradite him back to Israel.
Colorado: Pastor Don Armstrong charged with 20 felony fraud counts for stealing $300K from his congregation. Bonus: Armstrong started his church because his old one supported gay marriage and appointed gay clergy.
Florida: Pastor Garry Souffrant, his wife and his brother all charged with 59 felony counts for laundering $7M in cocaine profits and for mortgage fraud. Bonus: Pastor Souffrant bought 12 houses and a Rolls Royce Phantom with his loot.
Alabama: Pastor Billy Paul Masters charged with sexual abuse of child under 12. Bonus: Masters was on probation after spending six years in prison for the same crime.
Tennessee: Pastor Michael James charged with statutory rape.
Arkansas: Pastor Jason William Dubwig sentenced to five years in prison for incest with his adopted daughter.
New York: Pastor Merton Parks pleads guilty to possession of child pornography.
California: Pastor Daniel John Pedroza pleads guilty to unlawful sex with a minor, penetrating a minor with a foreign object.
Florida: Pastor Darrell Gilyard pleads guilty to lewd conduct and lewd molestation for sending explicit text messages and fondling 14 year-old girls.

This week's winner:
Ireland: The Commission To Inquire Into Child Abuse releases a 3000-page, €70M report detailing the sexual and physical abuse of over 2500 boys at the hands of priests and nuns at numerous Catholic schools. Among the atrocities are naked beatings, rape, and gang rape. Only a few of cases will result in hearings for criminal charges as the Commission has been "overwhelmed past its capacities" to prosecute.

A fine bunch of sickening hypocrites, I'd say...

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Worst Case Yet Against Gay Marriage

An excerpt from a dissection in The National Review:

Gay marriage may reside outside the kinship system, but it has all the wedding-planning, nest-building fun of marriage but none of its rules or obligations (except the duties that all lovers have toward one another). Gay spouses have none of our guilt about sex-before-marriage. They have no tedious obligations towards in-laws, need never worry about Oedipus or Electra, won't have to face a menacing set of brothers or aunts should they betray their spouse. But without these obligations--why marry? Gay marriage is as good as no marriage at all.

I'd like to see him say this in front of my in-laws...