Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Throwback Thursday (Early Edition)

Sarah and Harry at Bob & Tobin's house for Bunnie Brennan's 50th birthday party. October, 2001

At Mary Kaye and Charlie's wedding in Vermont. 2001

Werking a catering job in Providence 1988?

Sarah at Bob & Tobin's "Evening in Tuscany" party. August 1998

Mr. B and I on our first weekend "away". Provincetown, 2002

Rick Santorum is IN!

Go ahead... Google "Santorum". 

Another nutcase member of the Christianist American Taliban is throwing his hood into the ring with the other clowns in the show. I have more of a chance of becoming President than this crackpot, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Lindsay Graham, Carly Fiorina, et al. 

Seriously, watching the 2012 group go through the debate process has been some of the most absurd TV ever. I, for one, can't wait for the 2016 round! 

Holy Hypocrisy, Part III (and the last of this series today)

Josh Duggar, scion of reality TV star and serial father, Jim Bob Duggar, advocated for the death penalty for incest, at the same time his son was feeling up his sisters (all in the name of Christianity, I'm sure). I'm sure there's even more to this story than we've been told. 


Holy Hypocrites, Part II

Boy, the news is simply teeming with hypocrisy today. From Joe.My.God.com

BROOKLYN: Local Tea Party Founder Busted For Possession Of Child Porn
An ultra-conservative one-time Brooklyn city council candidate — whose campaign slogan was “Our children are our future” — has been nabbed for possessing and sharing kiddie porn, prosecutors said Friday.
Alleged pervert scumbag
Joseph Hayon, 37, was arrested Thursday and admitted to police that he traded the sick pics of kids between the ages of 2 and 12 in December 2014 using his email account ArtModel@juno.com, according to a criminal complaint. At his arraignment in Brooklyn Criminal Court, prosecutors said a tip led police to search Hayon’s Midwood home, where the stash of child porn was found. Cops confiscated Hayon’s two laptops, five desktops, video camera, Samsung cellphone and one DVD, prosecutors said. He was also slapped with an order of protection Friday barring him from coming in contact with his four children, ages 9, 7, 4 and 15 months. He was released on $50,000 bail.

Hayon is the founder of the Brooklyn Tea Party. He ran for the NYC Council in 2009 and 2013, losing both times. A recap of his 2009 campaign platform reveals that he intended to sponsor legislation ordering NYC to disobey then-Gov. David Patterson's directive for state agencies to recognize out-of-state same-sex marriages. (How would that have worked, exactly?) Hayon also vowed to "make all public library staff criminally responsible for making any form of electronic obscenity available to minors." Ahem. And then there's the usual Tea Party anti-trans, anti-gay bloviating about indoctrinating children, plus something about requiring that kosher grape juice be made available to people on food stamps. (Tipped by JMG reader Mark)


Holy Hypocrite!

Married Tennessee "Pastor" Arrested For Embezzling Thousands From His Church to spend on Gay Pick-Up Site Manhunt

The Kingsport Times-News has the particularly sordid details

And just what are those spots on his chemise from?

Monday, May 25, 2015

In honor of wedding season we present Romance, Redneck-Style

Knocked-up bride, smoking, sleeveless gap-toothed groom, flip flops, beer can and of course the trailer. Extra points for the filthy boots and torn jeans. Ah... romance!

This guest may be flashing her chocha but at least she's kept her pumps on (a pet peeve of mine). Oh, and doesn't the bride's hair look great?

Flashing the chocha for the boys... I might have chosen different shoes, but again, at least she still has shoes on at her wedding.

I suspect this one won't last long. Just a guess.

Nothing says "Class" like shotgun shells on the cake.

Beer seems to be a recurring theme at these weddings

Also guns

Mmmm... muffins!
When did doing a handstand on a keg while having beer pumped into your mouth become de riguer for brides?

... or Beer Pong?

What a dreadful tradition

I hope she's not planning on playing baseball in those flip flops after guzzling all that beer!
I don't know what is more disturbing. All of those guns or that wrist corsage with her wedding gown

Now, I'm beginning to understand...

A camo-themed wedding. The kid looks thrilled with his new dad

The groom seems happy. After the wedding she can make a slipcover for her refrigerator out of that dress

Who doesn't need to rent a chainsaw for their wedding?

Brides should always get preferential treatment at the rental dumpers

Vera Wang? No, Betsy Ross.
Have fun on the honeymoon kids!


Exceptionally tacky backyard wedding

Big thanks to Jen from Cake Wrecks for this submission. Love their website so much!
Now, I think that small, intimate backyard weddings can be wonderful. You can keep it simple and cost-effective if you opt to have it at home, and things can turn out great…. this backyard wedding, however, was not great.
Exhibit A: The Cake
I don’t think wedding cakes could get any worse than this. We’ve got different shapes, one is lopsided, oh yeah, and one is BURNT. Did we not have time to at least slap some icing on these bad boys? You’re just dumping the cake on some foil covered plastic cake stands? Really?
image009-1

Exhibit B: The Bride
The bride is on the right……the one wearing the sequined tube top and the tiara.
image012

Exhibit C: The location
Can someone at least take the mound of GARBAGE to the curb before the vows are read?! Oh, and I see that @alroker is on the guest list!
image0011

Exhibit D: The Groom
Button your shirt? Yes? No?
image002

Act like you like each other, you’re standing 5 feet away!
image005
image006

Well, at least their shirts match….. that’s…….special.
image003-1

Everyone looks pumped.
image008

Exhibit E: The "Traditions"
Oh dear God!
image010
Put that mess away!

image011

Bridesmaids

As some of you may know I planned weddings at a resort on the Cape for some time before going into an insane asylum. As the first day of Spring is upon us it puts me in mind of weddings, brides, grooms, and bridesmaids and best men. Here are a few photos of bridesmaid's dresses sure to make you wonder "WTF??".
Et maintenant... lumières, musique...


Married at Dollywood



I understand that the mother of the bride actually choreographed the closing of the parasols before the ceremony began. Cheese & Rice!!



Aunt Pearl Marie and Cousin Dixie-Belle had the girls down at the Beehive Beauty Boutique make these gowns from the tablecloths at the bride's father's restaurant "Chirp & Burp".



There is so much wrong with these dresses I cannot begin to say...


NEVER take acid before going shopping for bridesmaid dresses! I thought that was a given.