Friday, February 21, 2014

Huge breasted air-head having hypno-therapy to be more brainless

Blondie Burnett, 38 (Oh... Okay..)
Blondie Bennett, the 38-year-old (that’s your cue to pause, look at that picture again, pause and blurt out, “Well, okay then,” with your eyes) plastic California blossom who not only wants to be as plastic as a Barbie doll, but wants to be as brainless as one too.

Tricks who replace all the water and blood in their bodies with plastic and silicone to look like Barbie are a dime a dozen and every time I refresh The Daily Mail I see another one. But Blondie Bennett is really taking shit all the way, because she tells Barcroft Media and The Daily Mail that she’s undergoing hypnotherapy to be as brainless as Barbie. Okay, if it’s your life goal to be dumb as shit, aren’t you already dumb as shit, but you’re just too dumb to know that? Hmm, once I get hypnotherapy to be smarter, I will answer that question.

Blondie (insert DebbieHarrySideEye.jpg here) has already spent almost $50,000 on 5 surgeries to get her tits inflated to size 32JJ and she had chin surgery to make her face look more doll-like. Courtney Stodden’s future gets the money from sugar daddies who are plastic fetishists and get off on her dressing like a Barbie.

And now, once a week she sees a hypnotherapist who is supposedly helping her to be more ditzy and vacant.
“When people ask why I want to be Barbie I think who wouldn’t want to be? She has the best life. All she does is shop and make herself look pretty – she doesn’t worry about anything. I’ve had 20 session and I’m already starting to feel ditzy and confused all the time. Recently I went to pick a friend up at the airport and couldn’t remember if I needed to go to departures or arrivals. I also got lost for three hours driving to my mum’s house – the house where I grew up.”
So, bitch thinks she’s getting dumber because she gets lost going to her mom’s house and doesn’t know the difference between departures and arrivals? That happens to me and I’ve never had hypnotherapy to be dumber. (“But you’re naturally dumb and smoke a lot of the good shit” – you “I can never accuse you of not having a point” – me) But what kind of Dollar Tree hypnotherapist agreed to this mess? That’s not a licensed hynpotherapist. That’s somebody’s cousin running a scam on Blondie Bennett’s ass. Besides, if she wanted to get dumber she could do so in the comfort of her own home by watching a marathon of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and following that up with a marathon of #RichKids of Beverly Hills. Any brain cells she has left will turn to ether.

And doesn’t Blondie Bennett know that Barbie isn’t dumb. Bitch is an astronaut and a teacher and a dentist and a doctor and a nurse and a surgeon and a vet and an Air Force jet pilot and a firefighter and President of the United States and a computer engineer and a serious business woman! If Blondie really knew Barbie, she wouldn’t be trying to get dumber. She’d be getting degree after degree on University of Phoenix online!

No, Blondie Bennett doesn’t look like Barbie at all. She looks more like a Yellow Pages Landers Sister impersonator, which is hotter. But whatever, reach for your dreams of being as dumb as a Hilton, Blondie!

Run for your lives!

Kim Kartrashian's ass is taking over the world!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Did someone say "Throwback Thursday"??

And now for today's throwback photos...

Anne Marie, Jiffy and Betty at an Ocean Edge party c.1991

Tobin in the loft at Anne Levine's in NYC. Haim is doing something below...

Frank, Betty, Clay, Trish, David and Chip at a holiday in my apartment at Ocean Edge.

Jon's second birthday with Katie

Judy working a sausage and a chevre. Ocean Edge Resort

My sainted Mom with her older sister Arlene around 1929

Here's that little girl mugging it up in my high school cap and gown in 1972

Suzanne in the office where I had my first office job. 1994

Joey and his Mom at Shelly Shores
Frenchy 1985

Monday, February 17, 2014

On this day in history... 1904

In 1904 Giacomo Puccini premiered his opera "Madama Butterfly" at La Scala generating disappointing reviews and forcing him to rewrite the opera. It is now one of the most beloved and performed operas in the repertoire. 

The scene I am showing here is Lieutenant Pinkerton awaiting the arrival of Cio Cio San at his home in Japan. Cio Cio San is being escorted to her betrothal by the women of the village while they sing the ethereal "Quanto cielo, quanto mar". The first time I heard that beautiful music I fell instantly in love with it. In fact, when I got married I had the harpist play the song as we entered the area where our ceremony took place.  (Quanto Cielo begins around the 6:25 mark)

Enjoy this beautiful scene.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

The bile rises in my throat... Kansas edition

Teach your children well...
There's a woman in my office who seems to be a perfectly normal middle aged woman with her wits about her; charming, breezy, into new-agey kinda stuff but very nice.  When we first chatted about politics I discovered (now I know what chagrin means) that she's an anti-Obama birther, afraid that Sharia law will take over her life on Cape Cod. Seriously. She believes that! Sometime you just don't know what's lurking underneath a veneer of "jus' plain folks".

One day we were arguing about the repeal of the odious "Defense" of Marriage Act, she actually said to me that we gays and lesbians are "gonna be fine", and that "things are not going to go backwards" and "what's all the fuss about". I was appalled. I couldn't believe that I was working in the same company as someone who is obviously so ignorant and misinformed about the discrimination gays and lesbians face everyday. It's subtle, it's pervasive, and it's still here.

I was trolling the Internet and came across this piece by Cenk Uygur about the state of anti-gay bigotry and discrimination in the so-called Bible-Belt. The Christianists in Kansas and Idaho have passed vile, ugly and disgraceful bills that allows anyone, including the government to deny services to gays and lesbian citizens of their states, including fire departments, police, hospitals... anyone.

Cover your keyboard and watch this explanation from Mr. Uygur:

Baubles: The Necklace Collection

An amethyst, turquoise and diamond confection whipped up by Cartier for the Duchess of Windsor

From the Elizabeth Taylor collection. Amethyst beads, diamonds and kunzites

A magnificent "riviere" of canary diamonds. Wow!

A 19th century diamond, emerald and pearl necklace

A little diamond number from Harry Winston

A 637-carat necklace from Mouawad Joallier featuring a 403-carat internally flawless yellow diamond called "L'Incomparable".

A diamond necklace given to Empress Marie Louise of France from her husband, Napoleon

This piece was made by Cartier for the Maharaja of Patiala. The Maharaja arrived at Cartier in France with a huge chest of loose gems and told them to create a ceremonial necklace for himself. Note the huge canary diamond with the 3 pear-shaped drops below it.

Another piece by Cartier, this time featuring a large cushion cut emerald

Emeralds and diamonds show off a large carved emerald

This necklace is called "The Spanish Inquisition Necklace". It has no connection to the Inquisition. The piece was worn by Katherine Hepburn at the 19th Academy Awards in Los Angeles. It is in the Smithsonian's collection

A most remarkable necklace of pearls, diamonds, topazes and peridots by Bulgari

A diamond and ruby necklace given to Elizabeth Taylor by Mike Todd.

This huge sapphire and diamond necklace was in the collection of Baroness Mona von Bismark, a prominent socialite of the 1940's and 50's. It is now in the Smithsonian's collection

Sapphires and diamonds once owned by Princess Eugenie of Greece

An emerald and diamond "riviere" necklace by Harry Winston
This time Harry Winston stuns us with sapphires
This is Sultannah Kalsom of Panang working a massive diamond and emerald necklace, earrings and tiara.

Jesus sez:

I hope Mr. Sungenis doesn't mind if I post this:

From The New Adventures of Queen Victoria

Mitt Romney, Total Asshole

Mitt Romney, R-Loser, Douchebag
Why can't this loser just go away like the other losers who have come before him. Mitt! No one wants you, no one wants to hear what you have to say. Everyone knows you're a liar and a douchebag. Please... for pity's sake just go away and shut the fuck up. Go spend your ill-gotten gains on your arriviste home in California and stay there. Wow! What an asshole!

And you, David Gregory and NBC News should get some more relevant guests instead of lying losers like Romney.

Today in Schadenfreude

From the Tenneseean

Pastor Jamie Coots dies after snake he was handling bit him

Kentucky Pastor Jamie Coots died Saturday night after he was bitten by a snake, according to Middlesboro Police Chief Jeff Sharpe.

How could this have taken so long to deliberate??

Jurors find Dunn guilty on 4 of 5 counts in loud music murder trial

Michael David Dunn in court on Thursday.
Michael David Dunn, Murderous Asshole

From The Tennessean:

JACKSONVILLE — A Florida jury found a software engineer guilty of attempted murder and shooting into a car full of teenagers, but they could not agree on first-degree murder in the death of one of the teenaged boys.

Thirty-one hours after deliberations over four days, a jury could not decide if Michael David Dunn, 47, was guilty of first-degree murder in the shooting death of Jordan Davis, 17, during a confrontation over loud rap music in a Jacksonville gas station parking lot.

Circuit Judge Russell Healey declared a mistrial on the first-degree murder count. State Attorney Angela Corey said after the verdict that her office would retry Dunn for first-degree murder. The jury found Dunn guilty of three counts of attempted second-degree murder and shooting a deadly missile when he fired 10 times at Davis' SUV, hitting the vehicle nine times during the November 2012 fight. Dunn shot and killed Davis, who was sitting in the vehicle with three of his friends. Dunn says he acted in self-defense.

Einen Jodler

Just in case your day isn't crazy enough we present Franzl Lang performing "Einen Jodler".

Snowstorm at Frenchy's House Party

We had some "weather" at the Clubhouse yesterday. From what I've heard this snow could've been useful at the Winter (60 degrees f) Olympics in Sochi. Sandwich got 15 inches according the folks at WCVB while we in Dennis got a mere 10 inches. Now waiting the for condo boys to dig us out.  Here's some photos:

This was taken last night during the height of the storm Very heavy snow was really coating and dragging down the limbs of the trees.
The walkway to the left of the Clubhouse
Early this morning we were greeted with this beautiful scene
The light this morning was just lovely
Here's a view of the back of the clubhouse. The poor arborvitae in the corner is really strained by the snow. Looks like it's going to need a bit of care later today.

Yay! Condo boys have arrived! We're saved!