20. The Delta Burke - Don't wear material that makes you look like a NASA satellite.
19. The Fur Factor - It looks like a Woolly Mammoth is giving birth to a black woman.
18. Blurry Hair - Airbrushing your hair isn't enough, maybe soften your face, or your jacked up teeth?
16. Mom and Me - Nothing spells Virgin like a glamour shot with your Mother. Can't wait to see the prom pic
14. Ruining a Perfectly Good Hot Chick - You don't take a Picasso and cover it with a velvet Elvis. If something isn't broke don't try to fix it.
12. Hell and Fire - You've got a cool breeze in your hair and you look as if the photographer farted.
11. Too Many Accessories - Look in the mirror and take off the first thing that catches your eye, like your face.
7. Mother and Daughter - This should be ruled as child abuse. You don't force your daughter to put on 15 lbs of make up to your 30 lbs of make up just for the slight chance an elderly man at dusk could confuse her for your sister. Something tells us it took several hours to separate their hairdos.
6. Combustible Compounds - It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know you've been smoking since the great depression. We also know the 4 cans of hairspray in your hair and the several square yards of naugahyde your wearing are about as flammable as Richard Pryor. Something bad is about to happen.
3. Standing Out - Try to eat the days prior to your shoot. This will allow you to stand freely without assistance and not blend into the objects you're being photographed with.