Sunday, May 29, 2005

Tres Amusant

I was directed to an hilarious item written by someone who "Had to go to Target Today" complete with links to additional images to punctuate. Read on...

I had to go to Target today.

Yeah, I know, but they have something there that I find difficult to find elsewhere, so I just hadda go.

Standing in line in front of me was a woman Who Lives In A World Without Mirrors reading a copy of People/Us/Entertainment Weekly/whatever with a cover story about Jessica's New Bikini Body Secrets. This would probably be a good time to mention that the aforementioned woman was sporting an ass that looked like it was hosting a puppy convention that was currently having a dance. Next to her stood one of her spawn, a boy about ten in a sleeveless T who bore an uncanny resemblance to the Michelin Man except for the fact that, instead of being pasty white, he had the reddened face of either a potential high blood pressure victim or JD Hayworth (R-Stroke Anytime Now) or possibly both. Spread out on the checkstand counter before them was a Jonah-sized box of Ding-Dongs and other assorted fatty snacks.

The store muzak was playing: "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" - Elton John & Kiki Dee.

It was like that God I keep hearing about was showing me what my private hell is going to look like.

The horror. The horror....

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