Lifestyles of the Rich and Tasteless

Every now and then I run a cross a story about a beautiful house by the ocean that I would love to live in. I saw one recently and thought "how beautiful"! And then I saw the inside...

Beautiful house, yes? Those look like hydrangeas waiting for summer to make the approach just gorgeous. Nice place!

The back porch. What a glamorous view! Fabulous!

Another view of the back of the house

Now we move indoors. Where do I begin? Is it with the bizarre Viennese poof drapes? Is it the cocktail table/sofa combo that looks like it was moved from Adnan Kashoggi's yacht in 1970? Is it the cheap clear glass Christmas Tree Shops Lamps? Or is it the pickled white window frames and marble topped end tables? How awful!

This must be a "breakfast nook". The perriwinkle blue cushions on the goofy knot chairs are kinda classic, but matched with tat lilac sofa arrangement makes the room look nuts! We're not going to comment on the poorly scaled hanging lighting, the weird basement windows over the sofa.

So here's a sitting area in the lounge. Note the multi-level plastic cocktail table the mis-matched upholstery on the club chairs and the silly statuary far too large for that niche. I really like the fireplace screen but it's hard to see the one nice thing in the room, because of that shockingly bad painting over the fireplace purchased off of the back of a pick up truck in a Taco Bell parking lot in Encino.

Would you want to cook in that kitchen?? I am not enjoying all of this wood work here folks. Put some frigging paint on the wood.. PLEASE!

You own a house like this and you haven't upgraded the appliances since the early 70's? Shame on you!

As I have said time and time again... If you can afford a house like this, you can afford to hire someone with taste to decorate it. If you don't you probably vote for Republicans and are too stupid to notice that your home is being dished by a big queen from Cape Cod. (Sorry about the political input there.. it slipped out.)